Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Chicken shit!! Chicken shit!!

A fellow blogger over at The Quarter Life Quest recently posted a blog about being a Hypocritical Chicken Shit, the funny thing about it is that it made me realize a little something about myself.

I, too, am a Hypocritical Chicken Shit. Not that I like admitting that or anything, but, I'm trying to be honest here! I can talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk...well wait half a darn minute here, no one said ANYTHING about walking a walk!!

Over the past three or so years I have had this passion/obsession for photography. I had this crappy little Sony Cyber shot that I tried to take good looking photos with. I took photos of everything.

Then, before my third son was born in 2008 I got a more advanced camera. It was still a point and shoot, but I was happier than a pig in mud. This is where my obsession for photography really started to kick in. I was posing people and trying to get the lighting 'just right', and so on and so forth. I realized that my passion was photography and that is what I wanted to do when I grew up.

Just so you are aware, I was 30 in 2008. Just sayin'.

I was invited by our local roller derby team to be a photographer for their upcoming match. I was so psyched, this was the first time that I was ever “on the list” for anything. A friend and my middle son came with me to watch the event.

At this venue, the lighting sucked. Oh boy, did it SUCK! I wanted to leave, in the middle of the game. I was practically to tears when my friend, John, stepped in and does what he does best and gave me some words of encouragement. I decided to stay till the end of the match.

When we got home I couldn't wait to get on my computer and check out my pictures. I uploaded them, and then I cried. They were grainy, oh so grainy.

Flipping stinky lighting!!!! Curse you!! Stupid sucky camera, curse you too!!!

I shut my computer off and put my camera away. Just about three months passed until I picked that darn camera up again. I was asked me why I was giving up, people KNEW how much I loved it, how much it made me happy. I was told that I should take that experience and swallow it standing, learn from it, become better from it.

It took me a while to really understand what he was saying. I totally get it now.

That was months ago. I have since received a FAR better camera and am learning something new about photography almost every day. I have become a sponge that wants to soak it all up. I take pictures everyday, and if I fail at what I was hoping to accomplish with the shot, I go out and take it again. I WANT to have a gallery someday, I want to find my niche in this field and be the best I can be at it.

I don't want to be a Chicken Shit anymore!


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